This Kid...

June 23, 2017


My baby finished 6th grade today. I cannot believe how quickly time has passed since I was dropping him off on his first day of kindergarten, after which I walked to my car and promptly bawled. But the past year in particular has just folded in on us. It has been long and arduous and yet, it also feels like the year just slipped away in the chaos. It feels like we've been on this runaway train I wasn't conducting. And in the powerlessness and tunnel vision of survival mode, it sort of feels like time was taken from us. He attended about one month at the beginning of the year with frequent absences. Then, we spent the next month packing up. We moved across the world, he took the rest of the semester off and then started again in January, in a new school with new friends. He initially had to be absent quite often and eventually got to the point where he was hardly ever attending a full day. And yet, here he is finished with the year and he did a good job. I am unbelievably proud of this child. He sets standards of excellence for himself. And even when I've implored him this year to just give himself a break (yea, I'm the parent and I had to convince my child to try less!), he decided he was going to do his best at every turn.  

This has been such a hard year. But being his mother has truly been the joy of my life at every stage. And what I tell him when he says that he feels his sickness has messed everything up, and weirdly feels the need to apologise for it, is that life is hard. It's full of good and bad things, opportunities, challenges, hardships, and blessings. Life is not what happens around the obstacles, it's what happens through them. I never expected motherhood to be easy, I just expected it to be worth it. And I would gladly sacrifice in any way he needed without even considering it an actual sacrifice. My priority is being there for him so when the need arises, it's what you do. It's standard. Anything else would feel just plain bizarre, like a divergence from myself. I want him to be healthy so we can lead a stronger life, but he's not holding me back from anything I'd rather be doing. And also, this sickness isn't holding us back from slowing down at times and having our moments. 

Recently, I've had to embrace the longevity of this condition and still attempt to be mindful and find ways to be progressing through life. He was 11 when he first got sick. If all goes according to plan, he'll be pushing 14 by the time we stop this diet. That's a whole different stage of his young life. So being his mom isn't just having the strength to power through this illness, it's have the consciousness to live and live well through it. Many things are on hold until there is a recovery. So it's important to still engage in all that can still be accommodated in this difficult time. Like celebrating what is deserving.

So, congratulations, my little man! You are an inspiration and the pride of my being.  

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